I look like... me.
Well, a version of me.
The real me used to smile. Used to laugh.
When I walk into a store, I have to wear my N100 mask (which has a respirator on it) and now also a nose clip to extend the amount of time I have before the toxins hit my brain.
People either stare at me or turn their faces away, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that I have on a big, ugly white respirator mask. Children stare. Adults look away most of the time.
I wonder sometimes if going through their heads are questions ending with, "...think she has a cold?"
If they make eye contact I usually state, "It's for my protection, not yours."
Most don't though. Does that tell you that they would prefer to think that I was protecting them & society from something horrible concerning MY habits?
Little will they even suspect that my health is in jeopardy the instant they walk out of their totally fragranced little world into the societal world, also totally fragranced. I wonder if any of them ever think, when they are sifting through the products in the cleaning, hair or body care, candle, fragrance... aisles that most, if not all of the products they are putting in their carts could put me in the hospital.
MCS is by far NOT the only invisible illness. It IS one that most of the population, healthcare and governmental worlds want to ignore, but there are others, just as debilitating that are recognized, but ignored unless you actually suffer from them.
I quote here from the invisibledisabilities.org website (in the link below):
"The truth is, most chronic conditions cannot be seen with the naked eye, but nevertheless are persistently keeping the person from enjoying life the way they once knew. For instance, a person can battle extreme fatigue and/or cognitive impairments on the inside, even though they may appear healthy and well on the outside. Just the same, a person can have horrible pain and/or dizziness, despite the fact that to the onlooker they may look strong and able.
The biggest grievance those with chronic conditions have is that their loved ones often do not believe what they are going through is real, because to others they “look good.” Sadly, this makes the person feel as if they are being called a liar or a wimp. This can cause great strains on relationships between friends, family members and spouses. Ironically, those with chronic conditions would like nothing more than to gain complete control of their lives and not have to adjust to any limitations at all! Nonetheless, their bodies do not always cooperate with their desires, no matter how much they want it to.
Regrettably, a travesty occurs when the person not only has to contend with no longer being able to do what they love to do, but also has to battle for their loved one’s belief, respect and understanding. While the person with the illness/pain is mourning their loss of ability and freedom, others often accuse them of just being lazy or malingering."
sound familiar to one of my latest blog posts about my life?
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